APO

…the song goes on…"mahirap talagang magmahal ng syota ng iba" by Apo Hiking Society. Mahirap talaga. Unrequited. No Hope. All thoughts. All feelings. No reality. You admire. You look. No chance. No Nothing…whew!

I guess, this is how others feel when we love someone who loves another. You can't do anything. You feel you'll lose the battle anytime. Well, is there really a battle to be won over nor one to fight for? As much as we want to say yes, we're having second thoughts…most of the time. Is it really worth it? Are we willing to go beyond? Are we ready? Do we take that one step and maybe hope that everything will go well? Not easy, isn't it? If we let go and take that leap, we'll hurt someone in the end. If we won't, we'll hurt ourselves in the process. So what now? Do we go for what we wish for or do we just let it pass us by hoping that it'll soon end and maybe tomorrow it'll all be gone?

Yes, maybe we've gone through this a lot of times already but still each experience is unique. Each person is special. Each encounter is incomparable. Maybe….You wonder…. what if? You make a plan…how? You wish…until when? It's a mess. Love is? Life is?

No. Just one chapter in our lives. One page. One memory. Just another heartache. It'll be gone soon.

….so the song ended…I was listening to a newly downloaded APO song. And that part of the song caught me..hehehe. Just thinking aloud….Ohhh…the song is playing again! I'm beginning to like it more and more:)

What is the essence of a woman?

It’s 4am already and I’m still awake..can’t sleep. Anyway, Suby had her post birthday celebration and we went there. Mark, Taj, Nyles, Checks and I got there around 10pm. Ferna couldn’t make it because she had a previous arrangement with her college friends, I think. Of course as expected, Suby served good food and Chito was also very accomodating.

Cheska and her big mouth…hehe. I laughed when I heard what Cheska commented on Suby’s being sick last week that made her postpone her birthday celebration. Not aware that Chito was there when we were getting food, Cheska and again,her big mouth (peace Checks!) blurted out this very innocent and pure comment….sorry…can’t write it here…We went home before 12am.

At home, I was surfing the net and suddenly Noel went online at ym(he was also present at Suby’s but needed to go home earlier than us. He said that he has to make a report and has a 9am class pa). Here’s the summary of our online chat:

Noelski: anong ginaawa mo? bat gising ka pa?

Noelski: aba… blog.. mala ko kung anong sinusurf mo jan.. eheheehehee
cel: naku bka ikaw nga kung anung cyber yang binabrowse mo hehe
Noelski: haler.. di po ako kagaa ng iba jan. tlgang nagpupuyat para lang magblog “DAW” .. HHEHEHE
cel: pure ang mind ko nohh

Noelski: kaw tlga.. if i know.. hehehe… let me tickle your mind instead. di naman siguro okay kung puro garbage nalng messages ko sa’yo. =).. let me ask you a commonly asked beauty contest question. … what do you think is the essence of a woman? answer this exhaustively. then let’s exchange thoughts. malay mo, mailagay mo to sa blog mo. =) let me push you to aswer this by telling you that others says it’s the woman’s appearance. others would say it’s child rearing or motherhood. others would say, that there’s none. let me know your thoughts.. ngayon mo patunayan sa akin na nagbblog ka nga.. eheheehe
cel: seryoso kb hehe e sinagot mo na e

Noelski: sagutin mo kasi.. then tell me why.. i haven’t answered the question yet. malay mo iba sagot ko.. =)

cel: the essence of a woman is not limited by her appearance nor in childrearing/motherhood. for me, the essence of a woman is immeasurable..in the sense that it goes beyond what others perceive her to be or what she must be. her essence is to be the best person that she can be. the same principle applies if you will be asked what is the essence of a man or being a man

Noelski: the essence of a woman is immeasurable?,,, you’re being safe madam… amm… example.. a chair. does a chair’s essense change? di na ba sya upuan kpag kulang na ang mga paa nito? .. a book./. i find your answer confusing because if a woman’s essense is emmeasurable, it could be that tomorrow, a woman can be a man (meaning male)…

cel: can you measure your essence or personhood?

Noelski: I can say what is a man’s essence. bakit takot ka na sabihin na motherhood ang essence ng babae?

cel: a chair is still a chair though it lacks one support kasi eventhough kulang

cel: so nilimit mo ang pagkatao niya if motherhood lang ang esensiya ng pagkababae niya

Noelski: yeah I agree that the chair is still a chair. even a book. kahit wala na itong mga pahina, libro pa rin ‘to.

cel: motherhood is not the be all and end all of being a woman. di dun natatapos pagkababae niya

Noelski: why? isn’t motherhood rewarding?

cel: the essence of a chair is when someone uses it so that it can function to what its really meant for

Noelski: isnt’ motherhood an ultimate determintation of women? does motherhood end when you have a baby? or are you deprived of motherhood if you don’t have a child?

cel: no one said that motherhood is not rewarding. almost all says it is, pero hindi lang yun pwdeng kumumpleto s kanya

Noelski: so the essense of a chair is on the utilitarian aspect i.e. use.

cel: for me its not the ultimate

Noelski: so what?

Noelski: what’s the ultimate?

cel: a chair aint a chair till somebody sits on it

cel: maraming aspects, to prove to the world that she is not as weak as others think she is, that she can fight her battle in a world of men, that she can raise a child on her own, her independence, her will and determination

cel: i know you might thnk that its too general, but di ba yun naman lahat gusto natin even for men

cel: na hindi tayo ikahon sa kung anu yung dinikta ng society and norms natin

Noelski: ammm… let’s say i made a chair. after making it, i didn’t sit on it. I immediatel displayed it on the store. when a person wants to know what it is, what will I say? will I say, that thing there doesn’t have a name yet. when someone sits on it, that the time it will have a name.. ..tsk tsk.. mukhang panalo na ako.. ehehehehe
cel: its a chair…pero how can you prove that its a chair if no one has seated on it? di ba its meant to be made as a chair so that someone can sit on it?
cel: tinangal mo yung esensiya ng pagiging chair niya kung hindi siya gagamitin. it is only a chair by name pag nagkataon

Noelski: so anong tawag ko dun sa ginawa kong baga na may apat na paa at pwedeng upuan pro di pa nauuupuan?
Noelski: so anong tawag ko dun sa ginawa kong bagay na may apat na paa at pwedeng upuan pro di pa nauuupuan?
Noelski: I agree that women shouldn’t be bound to definitions. But knowing a woman’s essence doesn’t mean na kinakahon mo sya. simplelang naman ang tanong . what is teh essence of a woman. If you say it is motherhood, then well and good. if you say it’s equally like men’s, then well and good. wala naman problem dun eh..

cel: in the first place, bakit mo siya ginawa? dahil may purpose ka. chair p rin tawag sa knya, mas buo ang pagiging chair niya kung ititreat siya sa purpose o objective ng nagcreate s knya
cel: bec i dont find that motherhood is her essesnce, for some it is but not for me

Noelski: kahit di pa sya nagagamit, chair na sya. tayo, kahit kakapanganak pa lang natin, tao na tayo kahit di pa alam kung magiging asal tao nga tayo,,..
cel: i answered what it meant to me earlier
Noelski: the essence of a woman is immeasurable.. isn’t motherhood immeasurable?
Noelski: ehehehehe.. antok na sya… eheheheehehe,,,,

cel: it is immeasurable..but that is not her only essence. when you say motherhood lang, nilimita mo siya n yun lang siya
cel: that is my opinion kasi marami tao i know na motherhood ang essence pra s knila
cel: so pag indi ako nagkaasawa and i wont be able to bear or rear a child, i wont be a mother, then ive no essence?

Noelski: it doesn’t mean that if you don’t have a child you’re not a mother.; yung earth nga ang tawag, MOTHER EARTH kahit di sya nanganak..  =)

cel: un ung pinopoint out ko na nalilimitahan siya
cel: tayo lang nman nagpangalan ng mother earth s knya eh
cel: goodness gracioous
Noelski: aba… may expression ka pang goodness and gracious.. =)

cel: so let me ask you what is the essesnce of a man

Noelski: essence of a man? it’s to live life. un lang.

cel: see ur answer is broad too

Noelski: what’s broad with that?

cel: kasi we know in ourselves that we have too much too offer

Noelski: it’s to live life. i’m not saying living it for the better or worse. just live life. period.

cel: where’s the essence in living a life

cel: what kind of life

Noelski: and hopefully along the way, he finds meaning in it.

cel: too easy to live a life…

cel: you wake up, you brush ur teecth you watch tv, u sleep again, u eat…that’s living a life

Noelski: is it really easy?…
Noelski: is that life for you?

cel: thats what im poitning out…your idea of living a life is diff for you
cel: iba rin sa iba
cel: we all have diff ways of living a life, how is the question

Noelski: kasi yung iba masyadong pinapahirapan. for me, life na yung sabi mo na wake up, toothbrush (kahit nga wala e), kain, tulog..
Noelski: how??
Noelski: diskarte ng tao yan. man is given limitless possibilities to live life to the fullest.

cel: yeah how, so limitless possibilities
cel: that means no boundaries
cel: the same for women
cel: no boundaries too

Noelski: well…. ang masasabi ko lang… i was successful.. ” let me tickle your mind instead.” … so napaisip din kita.. ehehehehe.. di lang puro boys ang iniisip ha.. eheeheheh 

cel: bsta pra s kin, di ako papayag na yun lng essence ko dahil kilala ko sarili ko heheheh

cel: women are really defensive sometimes bcoz there are men who are not open minded
cel: well its debatable really…

cel: real beauty comes frm within
Noelski: yan ha, ikaw na naman ang nagsisimula ng debate..
cel: oo nga
cel: hehe
Noelski: beauty is from the outside. kita naman di ba. look at me.. hehehehehee
cel: my gosh…kaya pla
Noelski: hehehehe..

We ended at around 4am, told him to sleep since he still has a 9am class. That’s 

That’s how Noel is sometimes, he likes to challenge people (he’s known for it hehe).  He gives you a piece of his mind though at times you’re unsure if he’s serious or just joking. He makes things complicated so that he can get a reaction from other people.. he questions, he clarifies, he asks a lot hehe..(he should have been a lawyer). He’s bright actually. I think one downfall niya lang ……………………………MAKULIT siya! 

to our lovely friend who looks as charming as ever..in paradise….

Si Michelle…bow…

Hayyyy…we miss Michelle na. It's been a while since we've last seen her. Mostly we only give updates via ym, blog and friendster lalo na with Michelle because she's out of the country. Fortunately, she's okay there and seems so happy naman.

Here are some of the things about Michelle that I won't forget:

1. We have this 'thing' that we call the 'JUDGMENT DAY'. We usually do it during our break time when we're TLs then. What we'll do is: uupo kami sa bridgeway (it has to be sa bridgeway kasi maraming tao kapag lunch break), we're lined up sa bench and then we'll start our 'judgment thing.' Actually, it was just for fun (sa kawalan namin ng magawa after lunch…we find solace sa bridgeway..life is so PEACEFUL kapag nandun kami..hehe). People-watching is one of our pastimes..yung mga tipong:

• 'ang taas naman ng takong niya, tingnan mo nahihirapan na siyang maglakad' (Michelle, do you still remember kung para kanino to?)
• 'wow, bagay sa kanya ang pink hah!'
• 'tingnan mo siyang tumayo'
• 'ayoko sa kanya ng naka-longsleeves tapos naka-jeans' (eto, do you still remember this? Ikaw nagsabi niyan..hehe)
• 'tingnan mo siyang maglakad'

Michelle kasi is so funny when she talks. Because isa pa siyang kikay, minsan parang bading na siyang magsalita. Minsan nga nami-miss niya talaga ang 'judgement day' like tonight (we're chatting while I'm doing this.) Saka, kapag naka-chat mo si Michelle it's as if narinig mo na rin siyang magsalita…ganung-ganon talaga. Bilis mag-reply, talagang mga one liner lang..you're not even finished yet reading and may reply agad..na one liner ulit..hehe:0)

2. One thing na nami-miss ko pa sa kanya, she's so bubbly. There were times na dadaan siya sa post ko, iistorbohin niya ko and sasabihin niya sobrang seryoso ko raw. Or kaya naman, if she sees na may naka-open na powerpoint or something sa pc ko, sabihin niya nag-mamaganda ako chuva..Parang I never saw her unhappy or sad, she's always kikay, always light yung mood. And no dull moments with her. Lahat kasi dinadaan niya sa biro.

3. Kapag may training kami and we're tired of listening na even kapag ops rev (hehe), gagawin namin para hindi halata, we'll talk via our notebooks..sulatan kami ng sulatan, palitan ng palitan ng notebooks…chismisan pa rin. Pero siyempre pag labas naman namin may natutunan naman kami..aside from sa chism…na mas maganda palang background color sa powerpoint presentation ang color pink.

4. Michelle loves to shop. Every rest day niya lagi na lang siyang nasa Greenhills, if not sa Greenhills nasa St. Francis. Super love niya ang tiangge. Basta, shopping she's so patient. She really makes time for it. I still remember when we went sa Bangkok non, we're looking for Michelle (and Tetet)…Ms. Jen and I kept on knocking sa room nila, pero no answer talaga. Eh, it was just I think 7 in the morning. We're having breakfast na when they arrived…yun pala (I forgot na the name of the market there na tiangge style) ang aga-aga, they went there to buy stuff. Biro mo, early in the morning…grabe.

5. Whenever it's break time na I usually ask for her company sa bridgeway to smoke. Pero minsan siya pa nagyayaya sa akin, smoke raw kami or pipilitin niya kong mag-smoke para makababa kami. (Ewan ko ba, I think yung bridgeway talaga natin has its own charisma eh..ang daming nahuhumaling sa kanya.)

6. Eto si Michelle lang talaga nakikita ko gumagawa nito….when she eats, pork or chicken…ini-slice niya na talaga isa-isa to bite size pieces..(o di ba, Michelle? ) As in i-slice niya lahat-lahat saka siya kakain. Nakakatuwa kasi para siyang bata.

Masarap talagang kasama si Michelle. Laging on-the-go. We miss her a lot kasi she's really fun to be with. We're (the people she left behind..huhu) glad that at least she's now found her second home and okay naman siya. Plus, she found someone really special pa. Biro mo yun…i hope that she'll invite us when her big wedding day comes..:)

ACtually, there are still lots of things na memorable kay Michelle. Kaya lang…I'm a little sleepy na..with Michelle's permission, itutuloy……………..

P.S.

Sabi ni Michelle gandahan ko raw ang isusulat ko tungkol sa kanya. Kulang na lang i-dictate niya sa 'kin ang lahat..very demanding parang si Nyles. Gusto pa niya dapat raw I'm in a good mood. I should take a yoga or do belly dancing first raw so that my ideas will be fresh and I'll write only good things about her…hay…ang dedemanding ng aking mga friends.

coffee break and a little chismax on the side

Nyles, Ferna and I had our cofi break (as usual, after missing Ferna for a number of days due to her training for Connery) at Kusing. We talked about Ferna's blog entries…(her entries make us guess and keep us updated on office chismax) Ferna has a very wide network of friends, honestly there are many chismis I wouldn't have known if it weren't for Ferna, hehe:0) And of course, we enjoy guessing though we really don't insist naman if she wants to keep it a secret.

Anyway, Nyles ordered a champorado, iced coffee for me and coffee rin for Ferna. So over champorado, iced and hot coffee we started our small talk. One topic arise which I choose not to talk about here (it concerns a friend…I'm not comfortable writing about it.) We also talked of Suby's birthday celebration on Friday. I want to go and I'm urging them to go too since it's Suby's birthday nga. Nyles had an earlier commitment same with Ferna so there's a possibility that they won't be able to go. Well, maybe I'll go with Checks or Taj instead. After all, I wasn't able to meet Suby when she visited us here because I've a deadline that time and did not join them. 

Anyway again, so about what she told us….if I were the girl I wouldn't let it pass. It's as if he doesn't have any respect for her at all, t'was so demeaning. She should not let it happen again 'cause once it happens again, it's abuse already. Yes, maybe not physically but sometimes words are even more hurtful. If that person could not respect her then she should respect herself by not allowing him or anyone for that matter to belittle her. No one has the right to disrespect us (unless we allow people to).  Some feel that they have the right to do that when we give them that power. It can happen to any one- to me- but I know what my rights are. I won't give him that power if I were her.

chat

Last night I tried to chat. I went to London chat room (super bored that's why I thought of it. I think t'was just my second time to chat). So, this guy from London chatted with me. Told me he's in Bombay, India for a work assignment and is working for an American financial corporation. He even shared a photo and he looked like a Filipino, actually. He said he has a Portueguese origin..and so on…

So we were chatting. He said he wanted to see me raw. He even called my computer but I declined the call. He was very insistent to speak to me. He want to hear my voice raw. I told him I can't take his call and all (I can sense that he chats often because of the way he talks or he had a way with words..now I realize why there are others who fall for it, sweet talking…) He was still insisting if we could talk so I told him ' no, I can't take your call because I don't want to..'. I'm rude raw (hehe..e kung ayaw kong makipag-usap eh, bakit ba..hehe ulit). I won't fall for it..sweet talking. After that, yoko n makipag-chat..I'll just chat with friends na lang.:)

ARTE QUEEN aka princess…….

Disclaimer:  walang disclaimer

I've a friend who's super sa kakikayan…known her for a long time now. Actually, I can't remember how and when we really became good friends. They only adopted me sa circle of friends nila (Heather, Vess, Aileen, Ayen). I was even closer with the other four but not really with her. Kasi may sarili siyang mundo non. She had lots of friends and that time she used to hopped from one circle to another (well, that's what I noticed then)…siguro that's why we didn't have the time to really get to know each other well. But now it's different..we're closer now and I appreciate her more than ever. And, mas nakilala ko siya ng husto…..na:

• maarte pala siya

•  materyosa (gusto niya laging bago. E usually sa office every Friday is jeans day, so kailangan bago damit niya…tapos, ang di ko talaga makakalimutan sa kanya during our decking days nung mga TLs pa kami, if it's her deck day…kailangan bago ang blouse na suot niya. Meron pang time nun na GY OIC siya grabe, akala mo may gimik siya dahil she's really dressed up..hehe peace tayo!), aside from thhhhhhhhhose, she only buys stuff that are really branded and costly… like kanina, we're at the office and asked me for a lotion kasi she forgot her 'mamahaling lotion' raw…super gosh talaga..goodness!

• madali ring bumenta ang mga jokes sa kanya, she laughs easily and minsan when she laughs parang wala na siyang reputasyon na pinangangalagaan, so unlike her…:)

• very fashionable too..she always look her best

• she's super addict too sa pictures, every angle dapat may picture..nakaupo, nakatayo, nakahiga…every position na alam niya dapat may picture…hayyyyy…ang arte talaga.

• she loves to sing a.k.a. videoke addict. her trademark song? 'Like a Virgin'. aside from Like a Virgin, she loves pa heartbreaking songs, sad songs…yung mga songs ni Rachel Alejandro? she loves them kasi lagi niyang kinakanta whenever we go out for a videoke.

Kidding aside….how do I really perceive Nyles (supposed to be spelled Niles but I like the way I spell her name)?

Well…Nyles is a good friend. Lately, my appreciation of her grows more and more because she's honest, she knows what she wants (when she wants something, she'll exert efforts and makes sure that she gets it), very caring and for me, unpretentious. Beneath the girlie and softie facade is a tough person inside, she fights and proves her worth. She's well liked too, why? because she's friendly and knows how to get along with people. She knows what her flaws are and tries to love herself as she is…(tama ba, Nyles?) Others may disagree with me, but what the heck…who cares? One more thing, what I really envy pa kay Nyles is her firmness in making decisions…unlike me, I always hesitate:(

I know too that there are things that I still don't know about her, her family…etc. It's okay, one of the facets of friendship is discovery. Saka, the openness of a person has its own limitations din, set by that person…it's her right to open up herself only to a certain extent. Knowing someone is a privilege, knowing  someone's thoughts and feelings is a greater privilege. And I feel privileged.

Ako, I only trust a few people (teka, ilan nga ba ang few sa kin? parang madami pa rin hehe). We have lots of friends, acquiantances…but sometimes we only trust a few of them..not only with your secrets but the you of YOU…we only give our trust to the people we feel comfortable with,with friends who won't easily judge us, friends with whom we have felt that kind of sincerity and open-mindedness…and Nyles is one of the few. My secrets are safe with her, I know (hindi nman karamihan ang mga secrets na 'yon hehe..teka, meron ba?) I trust her.

In a way, I feel rin naman that Nyles trusts me (feel ko lang naman). We've shared so many things already and I'd like to thank you, Nyles…for trusting me. When we share a part of ourselves to other people, we give them the power to hurt us, reject us, judge us…it's a risk yes, and you took that risk with me. Thank you.

I may not be the perfect friend nor the 'best' to you but I am trying to be a better friend….

my morning battle

I'm riding MRT almost everyday now. I usually leave home at least before 6am so that I can be at North Ave before 7am especially on Mondays. I wonder why is it that every Monday, there are tons of people at the MRT(bakit naman kapag Tuesday and the rest of the week, lesser yung tao..hehehe). Before I used to take a cab from North Ave to the office but one time when I got stuck in the traffic and arrived at the office 40 minutes late, I swear to myself never to take that chance again (plus I'm trying now to manage my finances).

Today is the first time that I get to have a seat sa MRT. I needed to fight my way through to that one available space and at last, I get to have it! For the first time! Hehe..:) There's just so many people every morning and kailangan mo talaga ng special powers para labanan ang agos ng tao…hehe! grabe! Even sa girls section, sometimes may nag-aaway pa makasakay lang. Well, I understand them because we all want to be in the office on time and if you're going to wait for the next coach to arrive, a difference in so so minutes can really make you late. That's why, even if nakatayo ako and it's overflowing with people, okay lang what's important is makasakay ako sa unang train na hihinto sa harap ko. Everyday na lang may mga girls na nag-aaway (kulang na lang magsabunutan) kasi kesyo ayaw raw umusod sa gitna, natutulak..etc..etc. It's the most practical transport kasi, when you take a cab, traffic nman ang kalaban mo plus the extra expense yun nga lang at least you're comfortable. You get to enjoy all the billboards in Edsa kasi you have all the time in the world to view them kasi nga you're stuck sa traffic.

Well, tomorrow I'll face that battle again…the MRT battlefield. And I'm ready….before I used to go with the flow, I don't push people just to get ahead or get in first, ngayon….I still don't do that…only if the situation calls for it..hehe:)

Sometimes you really have to fight your battle 'cause if you won't you'll be pushed around and soon you'll discover you're at the end of the line na pala….waiting, still waiting…getting nowhere. Others have reached their destinations already while you're still stuck from where you are standing, unless you take action.

….

Everytime I think of the future, I often ask myself ' what's in store for me?' Even I cannot fathom what my future will be…

a. will I ever get married?

b. will I be successful?

c. where will I be in the next 10 years?

d. will I be happy and content?

e. do the things that I've wanted in life materialize?

f. will I ever be what I wanted to be?

…and the list goes on and on and on…

wala lang…..

I feel sad today. I think, I missed Niles..hehe:) You know the feeling when you're looking forward to be with your friend. Kasi alam mo na kayo-kayo na lang ang magkakasama and that no matter what, you feel good when you're friends are around. We were texting kanina and I told her I'm feeling less motivated now….it's good that at least I saw my crush (hehe) at the bridgeway. At least for a while, I felt happier and livelier. I don't know what I feel sometimes, it's a roller coaster. I feel slowly, one by one, unti-unti na kaming nauubos. Now, Niles is thinking of going abroad (well, I hope that she finds and gets what she's really looking for). When the time comes for her to go away, of course I'll be sad…but that's life, people come and go, even friends. When that happens, it'll be Taj, Love, Jeanne, Ferna, Cheska and I na lang. Kung tutuusin marami pa naman kami it's just that kulang na…:(

But of course, I'm still thankful, I always am. I've got so many things to be thankful for. I've so many blessings and even if I complain sometimes, I will be forever grateful. To complain is just an outlet for me but it doesn't mean I'm tired of life already…it's just a normal process that a person goes through in life. Anyway, yun nga, I may say that I'm not motivated today but it doesn't mean I will be tomorrow or the next day.Minsan lang talaga there are factors that we encounter that will lead us to feeling or thinking a certain way.

———————————————————————————————-

I'm listening now to a Tracy Chapman song that I really like entitled, " The Promise". It's a very good song. It's about waiting. Here are some of the lyrics:

" If you think of me, if you miss me once in a while, then I'll return to you and fill that space in your heart…if you dream of me, like I dream of you, in a place that's warm and dark, in a place where I can feel the beating of your heart. "

"Oh, I long for you and I have desired, to see your face, your smile, to be with you wherever you are…In your arms, where all my journeys end…I'm bound to come for you, if you wait for me. Say you'll hold a place a for me in your heart…"

The first time that I heard it way back, I liked it already. Whenever I hear that song there's only one person I can think of. I wonder where he is now. I hope he's safe and happy. Though our roads haven't crossed yet again, I know he's out there somewhere…beyond my reach..making his own journey in life. Once in our lives, we meet people who create that biggest impact in us….people that are not easy to forget…people who still hold that special place in our hearts no matter where life leads us…it just doesn't change. Forever embedded. Constant. Unforgettable.

cellulites

These last few days, Ferna was really watching her diet because of their P2K bet. I hope that Ferna will win in the end…hehe:) I know that even from the start she was really decided to lose weight (though, oftentimes people will tell her including me that she’s not fat, chubby or something). And I admire her determination though she admits that there were lapses on her part especially when she goes home to Batangas.

I remember the days when I was fat/chubby when I was in college. When I was in highschool I attempted to reduce my weight, too (though I was not fat during highschool.) In college, that’s where I ballooned and got really fat. Imagine my waistline that time was 32 inches! Most of the time, I’ll hear snide remarks from other people about my weight. I was really conscious back then because people even some of my siblings would comment on my weight..huhuhu:(  I tried other ways to reduce my weight and none ever worked. So from them on I didn’t try anymore.  Until the time that I worked I’ve been on the heavy side but at least now, I’ve tried to managed my weight. My appetite now is unlike before and I’m more conscious of what I eat but of course, I don’t deprive myself.  I still eat what I want, sweets and all….its the quantity that I try to manage.

When it comes to weight issue almost all of us can relate to it. Maybe once in our lives we’ve been embarrassed by it, got laughed at because of it..etc. What’s important is that no matter how heavy we weigh, the inner beauty counts the most.