Thoughts before 2008

I haven't updated my blog for a while. It's not that I'm really busy but it seemed to me that there's really nothing so important that's happening in my life (hehe) to blog about.

The new year is approaching in a few hours. Some of my friends asked me if I've already made some new year's resolutions to go by. I told them, I haven't. For the past years, every new year I was listing down resolutions and unfortunately, I wasn't able to abide all of them:) But, it's okay.

So now, I won't list down any. I know what they are already and what I should do anyway (I know too, that no matter what it's still good to list down some goals, some targets. At least, you'll have something to follow and it'll constantly remind you of the things you need to do..I chose not to..hmmm). What I really hope for, is that 2008 will be one of my best years. I'm looking forward to some CHANGES in my life. I want to live a fuller life than the previous year (fuller…in my own perspective)…more colorful and wonderful because I feel that there's a lot that I've missed.

I'm continuously searching…looking… then finding. It won't be long now. I feel it's coming…(I choose to be optimistic).

Welcome 2008..!

On a different note….

My brother arrived from the US last night. We fetched him from the airport. The last time he was here was 2005. It's been 2 years since we last saw him and now he's home.I know my mother was really excited to see him once again. As usual, there were many people eagerly waiting for their loved ones. I also saw a group of foreigners who were all wearing green shirts, probably they're here for a convention or something.

It’s Cheska’s Birthday Today!

I miss Cheska.. a lot. I miss her ways..mischievous and flirtatious ways hehe:) 

Cheska is…….

- childlike

- funny

- friendly

- witty

- intelligent

- down to earth

- affectionate

- cool

- sweet

- charming

These adjectives are not enough to describe Cheska, I know. Those are just a few of her endless traits and attributes.

I remember that before I was not close with Cheska, we were not friends at all. I thought of Cheska then as somewhat uncaring, she looked cold to me. But, when I got to know her, I warmed up to her. She's really caring. She's easy to please. She doesn't put on airs. She is who she is. She's like a younger sister to me.

Note: Checks, I forgot to give you the lotion that I promised. Sorry. I'll just let Taj give it to you when she visits you in CDO next year, okay?

Patience is a virtue

Last Sunday, my mother and I went to the mall to look for a dress she'll be using for my cousin's wedding. That's my christmas gift to her. Unfortunately, she didn't find one that suited her taste and style. My mother's a little conservative and doesn't go for ruffles, fitted clothes, the likes. I kept on making suggestions though but since she's the one who's going to wear it she needs to like it, of course. After 3 hours of finding, searching and walking, we went home without the dress. I felt a little guilty too that day because I wasn't talking to her anymore (maybe because I was tired already) and I think I've lost my patience na rin hehe:) I tried to keep my cool. We headed to different boutiques and still, nothing. I know she was getting a little frustrated (I'm just not sure if it's because of not finding the right dress or because of me hehe) because she'll need it this Saturday.

But don't get me wrong (defensive me), it's not that I didn't speak to her entirely after that 3 long hours..I did. I did try to salvage the mood because of the guilt and for the reason that I didn't want her to feel bad too (because I was feeling annoyed already). I lightened up the mood. So to make up for the guilt, I told her I'll again accompany her on Friday to buy the dress.

Lesson learned: I should be patient. I need to be patient.. patient enough to the people I care and love the most..

One Saturday

Today, I shopped for a luggage and jackets. I'm happy with what I bought- a luggage (like Cheska's), 6 jackets and a bag. I was satisfied with the jackets 'cause I find them all pretty hehe:) I thought of buying blazers to be paired with jeans but I remember my brother telling me that they won't do for the winter plus I need to buy what I really need first. Still, I bought two. I reminded myself to spend wisely unfortunately, there were still some things that I couldn't help buying. I searched for sweaters and cardigans but didn't find any to my liking. I'll probably visit Greenhills or St. Francis for those and hopefully, be able to find some great buy.

Got home at around 430pm and got to talk with Ferna via YM. Last night was our xmas party, she attended but I didn't. She told me that she drank 3 shots of tequila+ san mig+ mudslide and another one that I forgot. I never thought that she can drink that much..hehe:) Now, I'm busy watching Thousand Years of Love in crunchyroll which was recommended by Cheska. I'm at episode 10 already. Just can't get enough of SJS…really love him. After I finish this series, I'll be watching another SJS' film, Steal it if You Can.

I am mad

I was fuming mad last night that I found it difficult to sleep again. So, the result is I feel so sleepy now. I won't give the details of what happened last night anymore but even now when I think about it, my blood boils. I want to get even by hurling harsh words. My emotion is still raw and I feel the need to vent that anger. The confrontational side of me wants to lash out because when I do that, then I'll be able to move on. Once I've said my piece, I'll feel more at peace with myself and the person who has done me wrong. I'm toying with the idea of confrontation. I know that when I do that it will create more ill feelings because hurting words will be said. A friend advised me to think it over as it will cause more conflict. I agree to that, too.

Yes, maybe I'll think of a better way to face and resolve the issue. I should let myself cool down a bit so I'll be more objective. Or I can just totally ignore what happened and learn my lesson.

…

If only I can show you the real me, then you'll know

that I'm not what you see nor what you perceive me to be.

A facial and a hair cut

I had my hair cut today at David's salon. What a small world too because I saw my highschool crush in there. I got there first. Then suddenly I saw him via the mirror and he sat a few feet away from where I was seated. I though to myself, 'he looks familiar.' I realized that, yes, he was my highschool crush who took no notice of me then. Hmmmp..He was a little heavier now unlike before when he looked so fit and so cute..hehe. And, another 'small world', I have seen him many times within GT's premises (he's an engineer employed by one of GT's vendors.)

No matter how much I wanted to take a look at him I urged myself not to. He knew that I've crushed on him during highschool.. so, I'm sort of really shy hehe:) And he's married now with his highschool sweetheart plus they've got 2 kids already. I actually never thought that they'd really end up together. Well, he's one of my unforgettable crushes before. He was really cute then because he looked like one of the popular matinee idols that time (I won't mention the name 'cause it's really embarrassing..hehe). Hmm..enough of him. I don't care about him anymore.

Before I left the salon, I tipped them and went on my way to SM to have my facial. I went to Dermtrends as I want to try if I'll like their service. It's a little more expensive than the usual facial that I used to have. One of the staff prepared me for the facial– the massage, laser chuva (I don't know what it's called), cream etc. Now, it's time for the pricking…I then transferred to another room. The dermatologist got in and after some talk about allergies and all, she started the pricking. Oh my, it was painful..more painful than my previous facials. While she was doing what she was doing, I was thinking 'I don't wanna go back here anymore'..hehe. Of course, I'll go back. Since I have 2 cystic pimples on my chin and nose, she injected it with 'I don't really know what she injected it with' hehe. Well, I requested her to anyway, so that the inflammation will at least subside. They did already. Also bought some creams,toners and sunblock, I'd like to try having a regimen once again. Let's see if what she recommended will have good effect on me hehe.

Nyles

Nyles already left yesterday for Singapore. I called her while she and Jake were lunching out in Boni that day. Of course, as expected, naiyak ako. I wasn't able to see her last Thursday because Ferna and I went to Taj's apartment early. I told her to take care of herself and just enjoy being there. After a few hours, she texted again that they already boarded the plane and that they were crying. In my mind, I can see her crying. I'm sad that she left but I'm happy too because that's what she wanted eversince.

Today, she texted me again using her Singapore number. Last night too, around 6pm I think, I texted her knowing that she's in Singapore by that time already. I told her to enjoy and take her worries away because she said she feels a little sad. Well, she'll get used to it for sure. I told her too to create her own blog so that we'll be able to know her experiences, feelings and thoughts in full details. I'm just not sure if she'll do it. Eversince I've been urging her to create one but she was opposed to the idea. She said that she wants her thoughts private. Anyway, I hope she will make a blog of her own.

Nyles, if you're reading this….

It's the first time that you've been away that far with your family and friends. Be strong. It's normal that you feel a little sad but you'll get used to it. Take care of yourself well, okay? We're just an email, text, call and blog away. I love you. See you soon!