I Wish To be What I’m Not

Yesterday during lunch, we were talking about the meaning of dreams. Nyles said that she's interested in interpreting dreams, she did try to interpret Ferna's, Taj's and Cheska's dreams.

Last night, I had a good dream. Most of the time I interpret my own dreams as they are..looking beyond. As much as I want to know what my dreams really mean, I just let them by 'cause in a way I know what they mean already. Like for example, I can interpret my dreams last night as longing for someone. I think it's the second time that I've dreamed of this person. The first one was…I just saw his face, nothing more. The second time which was last night was we're together, we're sitting beside each other and we're both writing something down. He was invading my space where his elbow touched my arm and I moved a little away from him. In that dream, I know that I want to be with him but still I moved away from him:) I don't know what it really means but my own interpretation is (since I know myself very well)…eventhough I feel something special for the person, I still hold back. My feelings alone will not give way to what others think I should and ought to do…that I have insecurities, that there are some things that I need to resolve first within me before I can have a good and healthy relationship..that I need to let go of what's eating me..well, Nyles can you please interpret my dream?

I woke up a little happy. In a way, my subconscious helped me see what I needed to see.. that even in dreams I'm still the same, its like telling me.."girl, let go and give way to changes. show what you really feel..say what you really mean.." hehe:) I wish to have a dream one day where I can be the opposite of what's the real me.

wednesday

It's raining now. I arrived early in the office, bought some breakfast and ate in my post. After all, there's only a few of us here and the bosses are not yet in. Hmmm…how I would like to just sleep, be in bed and watch tv when it' raining. I had a good sleep too last night. I think I went to bed at around 10pm. I promised myself that I'll sleep early than the usual. Before going to bed,  I watched a few episodes of Attic Cat that I bought yesterday at St. Francis Square. I'd like to watch more but since I wanted to sleep early and make a habit of it, I did..no matter how tempting the next scenes may be:(

Today, I think I'll go home early again. I need to finish the report that I'm supposed to submit every Wednesday. Well, it's 759am already and though there are no bosses yet, I need to start doing what I'm supposed to do. walang kwenta…wala akong maisulat..:)

Laffline

I had so much fun last Friday with Lirio, James, Suby and of course…our balikbayan friend Gary..hehe:0) We had our dinner at Trinoma (t'was my first time in Trinoma and I liked it though there are stores that are not open yet). Gary had so much 'kwento' on his escapades ..hehe ulit:) He treated us to 2 servings of fresh spring roll (kuripot). Suby ordered a mango crepe with choc'late, Lirio had a beef something with rice, I ordered a marinated prawns and pork (lasang tocino lang), James had a beef stew, I think and Gary, noodles eklavu. We actually organized before a 'food club'. The club's goal is to try different cuisine without thinking much of the budget..hehe:) We'd like to try Indian food, Thai, etc. I think the resto that we went to last Friday was Vietnamese. The food's okay. While we're eating, Gary told stories about his 3-month stay in the US… that he was homesicked, he cried, he wore a 'pokpok' shorts (hihihi)..the same animated Gary. It always feels so good listening to him. After dinner, we went out to smoke (even Lirio smoke.) We then proceeded to Laffline.

Actually, it's our (Gary, Me, James and Lirio) second time already at Laffline but this time with Suby. We had a good laugh. Eventhough I've been there several times already, it never fails to disappoint me. I had a good laugh. It was fun. I wanted to laugh and I did.  We decided to leave at past 2am and we're supposed to have coffee after that but I felt too sleepy already that time. Chito fetched Suby. Lirio, James and I shared the same cab to Monumento while Gary was on his own to Guadalupe. They texted when they arrived home already but I wasn't able to text back anynore since I was too sleepy.

I hope that there'll be a next time…maybe something different and again, a night full of fun and laughters. I'd like to try some Indian food because I haven't tried it yet.

grandpa

Bigla kong naalala yung matandang lalaking lagi kong nakikita sa MRT station sa may North. He's really old. He's also using a cane and walks real slow. Twice I bought him Mister Donuts near the station. Usually, everytime nakikita ko siya binibigyan ko lang siya ng pera. I make it a point that everyday I have P20 para may maibigay ako sa kanya. Going back to the donuts that I bought for him, when I gave it to him he grabbed it. Naisip ko, 'nagbreakfast na kaya siya' kasi lagi talaga siyang maaga don.May mga times rin na hindi ko siya nabibigyan kasi kapag sobrang dami ng tao sa MRT, mahirap talaga. Minsan naiisip ko kapag hindi ko siya nabibigyan, meron kayang ibang nagbigay sa kanya para maka-get by man lang siya for that day. Kaya talagang pag may chance binibigyan ko siya. I even thought of writing 'Wish ko Lang' for him…hehe. I remember too, nung 6 to 3 pa ang shift ko, halos kasabay ko lang siyang dumarating sa MRT no'n, before 6am. Gagawin niya, pupuwesto siya sa tabi ng elevator sa ibaba ng MRT and don siya mamamalimos. I'm not sure if he stays there the whole day. At his age, standing there the whole day will tire him. He looks really pitiful.

Bigla ko lang siyang naalala today kasi I didn't go to the office. Hindi ko siya nabigyan. He missed my donuts hehe. He's beginning to be a part of my morning routine and I'm glad na kahit pa'no I'm able to give him something. Hay buhay…minsan tuloy nakakaguilty when you spend on things that you don't really need while others cannot even afford to buy food. Our 'barya' means a lot to people like him.

Friday disappointment

I was a little disappointed last Friday. My friend and I were supposed to meet for dinner. I was really looking forward to it since I've been missing those dinner and coffee times. She was the one who actually invited if I'm free that Friday, I said yes. Friday came, I texted her and asked if we're going to push through with our plan but she didn't reply. I was kind of annoyed that she didn't bother to reply when it was she who invited me. Friday came, so I texted her again and one more time asked her 'cause it's okay with me. She said that she's not feeling well and maybe later she'll be okay then we can still go out. Then she texted what our i.t. will be and since I too, was not feeling well that day, I was not in the mood to window shop etc. I just want to eat, have coffee and a nice chat, just that. And since I know her persistence, I know it won't happen. So I just decided to tell her that maybe we can just have dinner next time 'cause I know, with my 'not so good' mood, I won't be a good company to her and she to me:) Then later that night, she sent me a message and asked if we can have a vacation in any Asian country to which I didn't reply. I didn't feel the urge to reply so I didn't. Was I bad? I hope I'm not. I was just being me that day. That's how I am when I'm in a bad mood. My patience easily runs out and I will act as if I don't care:(

I forgot if I gave her my blog address…hehe…once she reads this, she'll know who I'm talking about..peace:) Well, whatever..

Korean series

I'm really getting addicted in watching Korean series these days. Last Thursday (I think), Taj and I went to buy some Korean dvd's at Crossing. It so happened that the two dvd's that we bought were exactly the same! Now we won't have to borrow from one another. Plus, I also bought Criminal Minds Seasons 1 & 2 and Prison Break season 2.

What I really love about Korean series are, it seems to bring me to a different world, y'know. Also, they are a little bit conservative and very clannish, too, just like us. Though most of the time, your attention really gets diverted because of the sub-title but I still enjoy them. Lucky for me, Taj is also fond of watching these series. We usually talk about it, what happened..who got whom, etc. During the Meteor Garden time, I was not really fond of it. I didn't even watch it that time. I just got hooked on it during it's re-run and discovered for myself that it was indeed fun to watch. It made me cry, too..hmmm…memories:) T'was the first Taiwanese series I've watched and I loved every scene. I think, I've watched more Korean series than Taiwanese ones because first, I like the language..the sound of it (it sounds a little Japanese to me), I love seeing them in their winter and colorful clothes, mufflers, love the melody of the songs, etc. The stories are really great!

This is one real past time for me especially on rest days when I've really nothing special to do. From morning 'til night…hehehe:) For me, it's like reading novels. It makes me want to know what will happen next..Hmmmm…I'm thinking what story will I buy next? Any suggestion?

…

I've been reading some blog posts on the Malu Fernandez issue in the internet. Grabe, so many people have reacted on that article. And today, I've also watched Cheche Lazaro's interview with Magno, Carandang and Belmonte (forgot their first names.)

Actually, when I read it..it really irked me….esp about the OFW stuff there in her article. Tayo pa namang mga Filipino, we are very sensitive kapag discrimination ang topic. And I think, what made us even angrier with the article was that, the author was of the same race. Dapat pa nga we are uplifting our race. It's not a nice thought that there are others who think that way. Having tons of money do not give us the right nor the privilege to look down on people or discriminate one socioeconomic class to another. It's true, we have the freedom of expression…you can say anything you want, still it entails responsibility. Sabi nga, "kung wala ka rin lang masasabing maganda, wag ka na lang magsalita." This of course, does not apply in every situation..it depends but in that article…this should have been applied.