in dreams

In the still of the night.

She dreamt of him.

The image was blurred

yet she knew it was him.

They were  in each others' arms that night

and promised forever to the stars.

Their tight embrace seemed endless

….not wanting to let go.

Suddenly, he freed himself from her.

He looked deeply into her eyes,

held her hands and shyly, he smiled.

She looked him in the eye,

then she said, " i love you."

" I know..", he let go of her hand.

" Didn't you know that I've waited for so long

for you to say those three words?

" Didn't you feel how much I loved you?

" Didn't you recognize that I was for real?"

Pain. She was sure was evident from his voice.

Her tears fell. She grabbed his hands, held it tightly, close to her heart.

" Oh…but i know that now…"

" Yes, I realized that.", he said. " And I will always love you.

But I can't be with you…

Someone else is now holding my heart in her hands,

and it's for her to keep."

Sadly he walked away.

Rain was pouring down and it got colder.

She woke up from her deep sleep, sat up and looked to the window.

" It's not too late for me…no…not yet."

That day, she made the riskiest risk she has ever taken in her life….

She told him she loves him.

She longsfor that day to come.

She asks HIM to give him as a gift.

She looks for him everywhere.

…..but it seems that good things only happen in her dreams. 

thrilled with anticipation

     It’s monday today. I feel the usual energy I have on mondays.

     I feel that I have so many things to look forward today. I’m not really sure why, but this is good. Is it because I’m already anticipating my transfer to another group come May? Well, of course that thought helps me but I believe that that is not the sole reason of my energy and motivation right now. I admit that just the thought of me taking that risk (I am not really a risk taker. So anything that makes me get out and conquer my comfort zone is a risk for me already) makes me want to look forward to what’s ahead of me.  That, for the first time (for more than 6 years) I am able to get out of my comfort zone and look into the other side (thinking that, that other side (maybe) has more to offer in terms of career growth, compensation, learning etc.) Whatever is out there, I’m ready now. Why? Because my skills and performance prepared me to venture into a new field. And, I’m glad I tried because once again, I’ve proven something to myself. 

     I’ve been with our group for more than 6 years now and I believe that I learned so much. From those learnings, I’m able to perform better.  Ours is like a one happy family though there are of course, different cliques within. The enviroment is young and the people are nice. Of course, not all organization is perfect and even in a family certain disputes and disagreements may arise…and that has happened many times to us. Still, in spite of those I loved being a part of the group or the organization. And I will never bite the hand that fed me (because there were others who got out and talked bad things on what they used to call their own..well, whatever.) I believe that we reap what we sow, that in most cases, what we get is just a reflection of what we give.  And I really admire others who are willing to give it their all, others who keep on learning and growing and never letting anything hinder them from doing so, no matter what situation they are in. Others who take pride in what they do and give back in return..that’s admirable. 

     So, when I transfer to my new group, I will be what I have always been. I will keep on learning and growing. I won’t let the group down and I will make sure that I always deliver.

     Ciao!